Indeed, the virus itself has never scared me since I learned about it when I was very young. Even after being diagnosed in April 2012, I didn’t immediately feel a feeling of fear. But I realized a few months later that we have all been instrumental in giving HIV, and its corollary, stigma, the devastating power both still have. And this, despite little more than three years of HIV’s presence.
I realized that the power of HIV can be so strong, it can supplant the love between two people. From the confusion, the feeling of blame, the fear, the anger, the denial and the disgust that HIV made me feel –– the trauma caused by the breakup between my ex and me –– still lives with me.
Over time, I learned and accepted that I’d find myself alone, yet I had to continue living since I’m not the type to give up.
I drew from deep down the true strength of my resilience. This was and still is my faithful companion. I’ve made up my mind that when all the people who say they love me have abandoned me –– there will only be me, and me alone.
I believe that because I’ve never abandoned my involvement with the HIV community –– as well as continuing to educate, share my experience and uphold my rights –– have all kept me away from that dark tunnel of the diagnosis of HIV.